...with teaching poetry. And I'm afraid it's going to break my heart.
Right now, we're obviously in the honeymoon phase of our relationship. I'm excited to show up for class twice a week. I lay in bed replaying the class discussions and the students' reactions to the poems, especially those lightbulb moments. Or when they speak passionately about a particular image or sound in a poem from the reading.
But, my insecurities are starting to creep in. Instead of being able to completely enjoy this time that I've been given to lead a poetry class, I catch myself, at times, fearing having to graduate and having to start the climb back to teaching poetry all over again. I'm trying not to consider it a breakup. More like a long distance relationship that I've got 2 semesters to prepare for before I have to go off on my own and work on myself via book publications before we can be together again. I might have to see other classes (comp), may have to teach free community workshops in the mean time. All with the hopes of one day being reunited with what I realize now is my true love...teaching poetry.
I knew when I started typing this post that I would go too far with this analogy lol. But that doesn't make this any less true; doesn't make it hurt any less that the competition for creative writing professorships is so fierce. I didn't expect to love teaching this much.
*sigh*
How's teaching going for all of you?
Girl...I wish I had this problem! But it's amazing that you get such feedback and understanding from your students. I haven't ever been that way about teaching and it's probably because I'm stuck in Composition Hell for now, but one day, I will know what it's like to feel that from teaching creative writing.
ReplyDeleteI'm supposed to meet this soulmate of mine in about a month. For now though, I'm seeing fiction and we're getting along pretty well but I don't foresee the relationship lasting too long.
ReplyDeleteSorry, I had to...
But I actually do feel similarly to you in terms of loving teaching and being anxious about the potential (or lack thereof) for teaching creative writing about I graduate in May.
Yeah, there are free community workshops, but those put out way too quickly...
ReplyDeletejoseph campbell said to follow your bliss...
ReplyDeleteThanks Josh for going there with the analogy. Perfect! lol
ReplyDelete@Raina & Emily- I'm excited for you both to teach CW soon!
@Miss Thelma's Boy- Thanks for the reminder :)