First Year Wrap-Up (GMU)

by Jennifer Brown

With the exception of one workshop—and I’m not “up”—I’ve completed year one of my MFA program. And what springs to mind is this: Thank god it is a three-year program! If it were two years, I’d be moving on to my thesis and thinking about graduating, and I’m not even close to ready for that. I feel like I’ve just now become adjusted, just now learned how to read closely enough to participate fully in class, just now learned some of the basics of writing decent fiction. I still feel very much like a beginner and I am glad I’ll have an extra year to work on technique before I move on to the novel that will be my thesis.

The most important thing that has happened this year is that I’ve realized how bad I am. You can’t spend large amounts of time every week devoted to reading the likes of Hemingway and Faulkner and come away thinking you are a “good” writer. You just can’t. But the great thing about the realization that you aren’t any good yet is that you can move on from there—you can get your bearings and learn and improve and even reach for the stars. Knowing how far you have to go is knowledge—and that is a great thing.

As far as my writing is concerned, it has improved 100 percent, and I’ve learned more in one year than I had hoped to learn over the course of the whole program. I’m still struggling terribly with the idea of story, but I’m finding my “voice,” and liking it. I’m enjoying the creation of elegant sentences and working with the great art of description as much as I’ve ever enjoyed anything. I’m confident that getting a handle on how to tell a story will come with practice and lots of reading. I am to write a novella this summer and I’m both excited about it and terrified. But at least I feel I have the tools to do it.

The decision to go through an MFA program was probably one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

Conferences? Summer Plans?

by Jennifer Brown

My semester is wrapping up and I’m thinking about plans for the summer. For the past several years I’ve done workshops at the Iowa Summer Writing Festival. It was always a great experience—especially the year I had the pleasure of working with Bret Anthony Johnston, who is an amazing writing teacher. But Bret doesn’t teach there anymore, and I feel like I’ve outgrown the festival a bit. So this year I decided to try and get in somewhere a little more competitive. I’ve applied to three places—Bread Loaf, Sewanee, and Tin House—with my preference being in that order (I’m already on the east coast). I got an acceptance letter from Tin House today, but I don’t expect to hear back from Sewanee for another couple of weeks, and I don’t expect to hear back from Bread Loaf until the end of May. Damn, waiting is hard! I think GMU has funds available to grad students who attend summer conferences, but I don’t know the details—I’ve put in an email to the grad programs manager for more information.

I've put up a video about Tin House on my personal blog--you can find it HERE.

Anyone else going to a summer conference? Does your school help you out with the cost of attendance? Maybe some of us will end up in the same place and can meet up?

Summer plans everyone?

One Semester Down, Five to Go!

By Jennifer Brown

One semester down, 5 more to go!  I hope I keep learning as much as I did this semester.  Over the past four months my writing improved even more than I thought it would over the course of my entire program.  Most of this is thanks to a professor who got on me about my verbs in our first assignment:  I had used the passive voice in just about every other sentence without even thinking about it.  Now, whenever I’m working on something not only do I go back over the piece and re-write every sentence with a “to be” verb, I go back over most of the verbs and make sure that they are the strongest and most precise available.   Strong verbs, strong verbs, strong verbs!  Strong nouns are important too, but I come by those a little more naturally (in other words without the constant help of the thesaurus).

There are many interesting classes to take at George Mason—the list of available classes for each semester always makes me feel like I’ve picked the right place do my MFA.  This past semester I took a required Forms of Fiction class, where we read and wrote each week; a Setting class, where we read and wrote each week; and a literature class.  I am really tied to place in my work, so the Setting class was perfect for me.  And speaking of perfect—I couldn’t believe it when I saw the list of classes for next semester.  There is a “War Writing” class offered—and I’m thinking of doing a war novel for my thesis!  I take that as a sign from the gods that I’m on the right track with my thoughts about my thesis.   In addition to War Writing, I have Fiction Workshop and Forms of Nonfiction next semester.  I’m taking Forms of Nonfiction because at GMU we must take a cross-genre class (which is something I really like about the program). 

I also became involved with our program’s lit mag: Phoebe.  We are required to do an MFA project before graduation and I intend for this to be it.   I am a reader for the journal and I’ve done some admin work as well.  I enjoy reading the submissions—the bad ones make me feel so much better about my own writing, and the good ones are such a joy to read.  It’s like panning for gold—every once in a while you find a nice nugget.  Also this kind of thing is right up my alley having been a magazine editor in my most recent pre-MFA life.  

Finally, I’ve done something I couldn’t manage to do while I was practicing law or while I was running a national magazine—I’ve taken advantage of the fitness facilities on campus (mainly the pool) and lost about 20 lbs.  The moral of that story is: try to take advantage of all of the free resources available to you on campus.  At GMU there are so many; for example we have a performing arts center that brings in everything from opera to the circus and we get free tickets.   

So to my fellow MFAers, congrats on finishing your first semester, and to all of you out there who are applying right now—going to George Mason to study creative writing is one of the smartest things I’ve ever done.  Can you become a great writer outside of an MFA program?  Yes, of course.  But probably not anywhere near as fast as you can inside of a program. 

Happy Holidays!

 

When And Where Do You Write?

by Jennifer Brown

I get up around 5a.m. and write.  Or try to write.  Sometimes I just sit there and look at a work in progress and hate it.  Sometimes something really takes off and the morning flies by.  Regular mornings are spent at my desk—the one in the picture.  Special writing mornings are spent on the deck of my boyfriend’s cabin in the Shenandoah Valley (the other pic).  I am hoping that I can get to where I’m able to write anywhere and everywhere at anytime of day or night, but I’m not there yet. 

How about you? Where and when do you write?  Do you have an office?  A kitchen table? A corner of the library?  A coffeeshop table?  Does it matter to you—or can you write anywhere and everywhere?  Can you post a pic of your special place?

The Writing I'm Doing in My Program

by Jennifer Brown

I thought I’d let everyone know what kind of writing I’m doing in my program, which is a lot more than I’d expected to be doing given that I don’t have workshop this first semester.  I wanted to go for an MFA because I knew it would force me to write a lot more than I ever would on my own—and I’m getting what I wanted. 

I have two classes that require what others may not consider a lot of writing, but that is a lot for me (plus I have a lit class that requires academic papers).  

In my Forms of Fiction class it looks like we will be writing a 3-4 page story each week after we turn in our first 3-4 pager on the 28^th, and we have to turn in a full 20 page story at the end of the class.  The first mini-story, due on the 28^th, is a journey story, written in conjunction with our first reading, which was The Odyssey.  In later weeks we will be reading and writing fables, fairy tales, a coming of age story (Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man for the reading! Yay!), etc.  I’ve already started and tossed two journey stories into the trash, and I’m now on my third attempt, which I hope will be ok.  I think I’m being a little obsessive—but it is the first thing we are reading aloud in class!

In my Setting class we had our first assignment that I turned in this week, which was to go up to the top of a hill at dawn and write 500-1000 words about the light.  I loved doing it.  Due this week are two 500-1000 word pieces written in response to D.H. Lawrence’s “St. Mawr” (A gorgeous book if you haven’t read it.  Some of his prose is downright rhapsodic).   I’ve started both of these pastiches, one of which I like, and one of which I hate and need to do a lot more work on. 

So as you can see I have great assignments that are pushing me to write, and to write stuff I would never have written on my own.  But to be honest I’m struggling a bit. You see, I am one of those people who takes forever to write something.  I have only one story I would consider finished, and it is only 9 pages and it took me over a year.  I write the first paragraph, and then I start to revise it, and revise it, and revise it.  You can see how this means that I never get anything done.  So a 3-4 page paper, plus a couple of 1000 word pastiches is a TON of writing for me.  But I’m so glad. 

This is exactly what I signed up for.  

The First and Second Week

by Jennifer Brown

Hi all.  Well, I've got the first week and a truncated (thanks Labor Day!) second week under my belt.  This grad school stuff is hard.  I'm actually finding it a bit tougher than law school was.  I've written a post about my first week and a half that can be found on my personal blog HERE.  Hope everyone is doing well!

George Mason Orientation

I had orientation last night!  It was a longish deal, with a reception for all of the GMU grad students, followed by remarks in a big auditorium, followed by an English Department orientation followed by an MFA orientation.

The reception was exactly the kind of thing I suck at --- standing around with a bunch of strangers making small talk.  The conversations all involved the same questions, mainly “Where are you living?” and “What classes are you taking?”  You notice I don’t mention asking about genre.  Know why?  Well, I’ll tell you why.  When we arrived they gave us those sticky name tags.  On them were both name and genre.  Name in big letters, genre in tiny letters.  Now I hate name tags.  Mainly because I have a huge chest and people always end up leaning over toward my boobs and I find that embarrassing.  But last night, even more embarrassing, was that I found myself doing it to other women, because of course I wanted to know everyone’s genre.  So there I was leaning over people and staring at their chests.  If only the genres had been in a font that was a little bigger, we wouldn’t have been all up on each other.  Oh well.  The good news is that everyone was really nice (although I confess to feeling old and wondering if at 38 I am the oldest), and my fear of meeting new people evaporated pretty quickly.  Even if it hadn’t, I would have been ok, because I already have a friend that I met through the MFA Blog before coming to school and she is hilarious.  We went around to all the little tables that groups had set up and took their loot.  We got balls from the athletic centers and luggage tags from the study abroad office.  

Next they packed all of us new grad students into an auditorium (which we had to walk to, up a huge-a$$ flight of stairs) where they had several people speak to us about the graduate school experience.  You are from many countries. . . GMU has top programs in. . . there are many resources here to help you. . . this is how I found balance in my work/school/family life. . . blah blah.  You know the drill.

Next, I went to yet another building for the English Department orientation, which consisted of about 4 people introducing themselves so that we would know who they are.  I don’t remember any of them, although their titles sounded important.

Finally, came the good part.  I went to yet another building for MFA orientation.  Here I counted 30 of us, including fiction, nonfiction and poets.  It was exciting to all sit in the same room together.  Our program director gave us handbooks and a ton of information about classes, thesis committees, building community, independent study, projects, etc. Here, better than the balls and luggage tags from the all-grad orientation, I got something awesome!  A grey t-shirt that says “Mason MFA Writer.”

So, as of last night, that is what I am.  A Mason MFA Writer.  I couldn’t be more excited.   

What Classes Are You Taking?

By Jennifer Brown

Once upon a time, long, long ago, when I was applying to MFA programs (ok, just last year, but it feels like a million years ago), one of the things I was really curious about was what classes new students actually take.  I thought we could all comment with our fall class schedule so that those applying could get a sense of what is taken at our schools. . . remember to name your school!

Were You a Writer Today?

By Jennifer Brown

Writers write.  Am I a writer?  Well, not today.  And not yesterday either.  Did I burn out from the whole MFA application thing? Am I blocked?  Am I just lazy and waiting for school deadlines to kick my ass into gear?

You see, I’ve done very little work since I wrote the stories I submitted with my MFA applications.  I haven’t written what I would consider a full story at all since the apps.  I’ve completely re-written one of my application pieces in accordance with a workshop at the Iowa Summer Writing Festival and started submitting it.  And I’ve written two pieces of flash.  One of them is being published online with Clockwork Cat in the winter edition so I consider that a successful piece of work.  But I had great hopes for myself this summer that weren’t to be.  I quit my 50-hour a week stress-filled job a while ago, hoping to really get some writing done before school starts --- “really get some writing done” as in really write some new stories.  But aside from the two pieces of flash, it hasn’t happened.  A busy schedule didn’t exist to get in the way. . . so why?  Why aren’t I producing? 

I think the truth of the matter is that this whole MFA thing has me scared.  What if what I write isn’t good enough?  What if the students in my program or god forbid the professors look down on my work as “horror” (people sometimes describe it that way).  What if people think it is too flowery?  What if I got into school because my application stories were great but now I can’t do it again?  What if everything that I write from here on out just all-around sucks?  What if I write something and it isn’t perfect?

Ahhh, wait!  There it is!  What if it isn’t perfect.  There is the problem.  And I’m blogging about it here because I have a feeling that the I’m-Afraid-It-Won’t-Be-Perfect monster will plague more than a few of us as we begin to write work to share in our respective programs.  Sometimes I’m able to tell myself “0f course it won’t be perfect” and calm down and write, and sometimes I’m not able to do that. This subject is on my mind in part because of a wonderful quote fellow MFA Chronicles contributor Jonterri has on her Facebook page.  I think there is an antidote  to the I’m-Afraid-It-Won’t-Be-Perfect monster in there, so I’ll just quote it:

There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique.

And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable it is nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.

You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you.

Keep the channel open. No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive.

~Martha Graham to Agnes de Mille

Beautiful wisdom.  I think I’m unblocked and ready to enter my program with courage.  Thanks to that quote tomorrow morning I’ll be able to answer the question “Are you a writer today?” with a big yes.  I think I have a story in me that wants to get out --- even though it probably won’t come out perfect!  

Jennifer Brown (George Mason Class of 2012)

Hi there. I’m Jennifer Brown, a former actress, turned lawyer, turned magazine editor, turned MFA candidate at George Mason University's program. Yep, I gave up a career as a tax attorney and editor of a national magazine to pursue my dream of writing a novel --- and I couldn’t be more excited!

I’m on the older side --- 38. I live in a little house in Falls Church, Virginia that is about a 30 minute drive from GMU’s campus with my boyfriend and a large Maine Coon cat. I already lived here in Northern VA, so I didn’t have to move for school, which is great. My classes start on August 31 --- “Forms of Fiction,” “Setting,” and a Mark Twain lit class. I write pretty short stuff --- most of my stories are about 2500 words. I write some flash too. I’m unpublished but submitting. Most of my stuff is heavy on setting, and most of it is set in the Shenandoah Valley where my boyfriend has a little house on a river. For some strange reason I love writing about grass and fields.

Finally, I haven’t even started school yet but I’ve already got a homework story for you. Check this out: In early May I get an email on my George Mason account directed to those of us registered in this fall’s “Setting” class. It reads something to the effect of “please read (or reread) Moby Dick over the summer.” And that is it. So I proceed to read (not reread) Moby Dick. After almost two months I am about three quarters of the way through the book, and another email comes in: “Please read or reread Moby-Dick, marking in particular those passages where Ishmael uses metaphors of land to describe the sea.” Good lord. MFA homework has begun. I guess I’ll be re-reading Moby Dick after all.